Just when you thought the Colorado “Mad Pooper” story couldn’t possibly get more strange…
About a week and a half ago (Sept 19), a story made the rounds about an unknown jogger who was defecating on the same lawn every week. Now the already-strange story took an unexpected twist when a supposed ‘spokesperson” for the Mad Pooper has made the claim that taking a dump on someone’s lawn is protected under the First Amendment.
It started as a local story, but it’s strange (and link-baity) enough to have been picked up by other local outlets, and even USA Today.
The gist of the story was this: A Colorado family would find excrement on their lawn at least once a week. Then, the children of the home saw the culprit mid-squat. This wasn’t a dog pooping on the lawn, but a jogger.
According to KKTV, the children told their mother, Cathy Budde.
Budde went out to confront the woman:
“They are like, ‘There’s a lady taking a poop!’ So I come outside, and I’m like … ‘Are you serious?’” Budde told KKTV. “‘Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids!?’ She’s like, ‘Yeah, sorry!’”
But instead of cutting the crap, the woman — whom the Buddes have dubbed “The Mad Pooper” — has returned to do her business outside the family’s house for at least the past seven weeks, even though there’s a bathroom across the street.
An article at the Denver Post emphasizes that “there is no shortage of bathrooms in the neighborhood. There is a bathroom across the street, porta-potties in a nearby park and a gas station close by.”
In other words, this lady is deliberately and repeatedly taking a crap in this family’s lawn every week.
Budde eventually got images of this “Mad Pooper,” and went to the police for help.
About a week after the story went viral, things got a little weirder.
An anonymous person claiming to be the Mad Pooper’s “spokesperson” contacted the local Colorado news to issue an odd, three-point statement.
1. The Mad Pooper is sorry
2. The Mad Pooper is suffering from head trauma, as well as issues relating to a gender reassignment surgery
3. Defecating in someone’s yard is protected under the First Amendment (???)
That last bit had the Budde family, and pretty much every one else, scratching their heads.
From the Kansas City Star:
Criminal defense attorney Jeremy Loew told KRDO the woman does not have a constitutional right to take a constitution in public.
“Defecating in someone’s yard is definitely not protected under the First Amendment, and it is actually a crime,” Loew said.